12/11/17 Minecraft…

While Maggie is at home looking for a job she is building on Minecraft, making a castle. The castle was too tall for the game, there is an upper limit on how tall buildings can be, so she blasted down into the ground to start the base at a lower level. While doing this she came upon many caves, underground streams and lava. She built a lot of the castle then decided to start over. She is now building a city. First she put in streets. Then she was going to go to sidewalks. While building the streets Maggie asked me if I wanted a house built in her city. I was thrilled. She had a book of house styles, like tutor and colonial. I wanted a front porch so I picked a cabin. She built the house and furnished it. It was so sweet. Then Maggie went back to building streets.

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12/7/17 interviewing and job applications…

William has had an interview at a grocery store to stock shelves at night. He has had about nine months of steady work experience, but was told that they were looking for someone with more experience. I wish that he would go back to school. There is a cleaning company right by us. It is so close and they work after the business has closed for the evening. William is a good worker and does a good job and has great attendance, but he can’t get to work on time. He gets too involved in what ever he is working on and forgets to go and do things. He had great attendance at his first job because he was dropped off at the door at the correct time to clock in. If he went to the cleaning place I would be able to get him there on time.
Maggie has been putting in a lot of job applications. She doesn’t want to drive so we are getting names of businesses that are on areas that her grandma would like to drive to every day. She has had a few interviews. It seems that for every thirty to forty applications she gets an interview and she is now very comfortable with interviewing. She longs to work and have something to do and have some money.

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11/30/17 writing…

So much has happened in the last week that I don’t even know where to begin. Everything is good at our house, but since there is such a big gap, a week, so much information, plot line, fun and life have been lost. Today I decided to leave the Nook on each day an write some as I pass it. Maybe that will get me writing every day. So much every day life is happening at our house, and as the days unfold I write blog posts in my mind but don’t get to the Nook to write them down. I’m too tired in the morning and at night to write and too busy during the day. Can you tell how frustrated I am? When Maggie and I are watching a movie she is always playing Minecraft. She can do both at the same time. I can’t. Maybe its because she is brighter than me, or maybe its because I struggle with spelling and need to concentrate on my typing as I go along. I wish I had listened to my mom and teachers in grade school and learned how to spell and how to add and subtract too. It really has made life more of a challenge. OK, I am done whining now.

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11/24/17 working…

Maggie got a call for an interview at a pet store. We are so excited. She loves pets. She is really a scientist, but since she dropped out of college, she needs a job. She needs to get her interview outfit together. The store that she is interviewing at is the same one that our ferret was bought at.
Beth is going job hunting with me next week. She has been out of high school for a whole summer and hasn’t looked for a job for the weekdays yet. She had a job at a drive in on the weekends but she didn’t get many hours. She has a car and needs to set some money aside for repairs and hasn’t been able to do that.
William got laid off on Friday. They didn’t have enough work for him. He cleans machines in a factory. The machines are all clean. He had come to me about a month or two ago and said that he knew that he wouldn’t be there much longer. He said that at first the machines had been so dirty that he had really needed to work hard to clean them. But now he is re-cleaning clean machines. He could see that they wouldn’t need him long. That’s when we started to look tor a a school for him. He said that he wanted to do programming. It would get him off of his foot. He wasn’t upset that he had been let go. This wasn’t his dream job, but he had been happy that he could buy some candy or a two liter of Coke whenever he wanted to. Now he doesn’t have a job and he isn’t scheduled to go back to school. I asked if waited to go do the pretest at school. He said no. He wanted another job. I am so … not upset … I guess concerned… that he isn’t working. We looked for a job for him for so long before we found this one. Now he does have almost a year of working to put on his resume and he was laid off for lack of work. So maybe we can find something right away for him.
Now … all three kids that are looking for jobs. The temporary agency that William was through said that they would help him find something. They will look close to our house. He doesn’t want to drive, so he will need to be able to walk home from work.

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11/14/17 responsibilities…

When the kids were all out of high school I was so glad to be getting past one responsibility. A few years ago, I had kids in college and high school and kids dating, and getting jobs and getting cars and talking about moving out. It was a lot for me to keep track of. In high school, it is the students responsibility to get the work done, but the parents have to go to the conferences if there is a problem. So… I always felt responsible and spent a lot of time asking, do you have any projects that are due, any reports, anything that you need from me? I also needed go be ready to drive them to events at school and with their friends. We had added on so many new areas that needed watched over and hadn’t taken any away. I was in overload. When Beth graduated, so many of my responsibilities left.
When we were at church the weekend after graduation they were talking about the summer retreat for the high school kids. I started thinking, did I sign Beth up? Does she have that weekend free? Then I realized, she is out of high school and won’t be going to this event. I was so relieved. It is like when the kids were toddlers and I would see a diaper commercial and panic, when did I buy diapers last, should we go tonight, then I would realize that my kids were past diapers, and a whole wave of relief washed over me, like there is something going on in the world and I was not responsible for it.
The kids did handle their responsibilities, and there was a light at the end of the tunnel, the date for graduation had been set, so I knew that responsibility from all of the high school events would be over soon. That helped, the hope of a better tomorrow. When the kids were little I was in a share group at church, it really helped to hear each week what the other parents were in the middle of at their house. Now that the kids are older, they are handling their own responsibilities and it is so nice to be able to watch them grow as adults.
What do you do when you have too many things going on at the same time?

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11/9/17 writing and getting out of high school…

 I need to write more often. Maggie and I went for a walk in the woods, William and I met with the school counselor, Maggie and I went to a demonstration on carving arrowheads out of wood, the continuing saga of Beth’s Social Security card, the ferrets new hiding place for the cat food, the new clothes washer and the laundromat, the Minecraft update… …there is probably more but it is 11:12 at night and I am a morning person so this is all I can think of.
Beth has looked so happy since she got out of high school. Still young but standing up a little straighter after graduation. She looked like a weigh had been lifted off of her shoulders too. She worries a lot about things like I do. She can get an A minus on a test and worry about what it will do too her grades. She used to come home in grade school and say, mommy, I was so worried about my spelling test that we took in the morning that I couldn’t play at recess. She had known the words so well that she had them memorized by Wednesday of that week. We would then go over them on Friday morning and she would get an A. But she still worried. She still looked worried when she got home from school, knowing that she had passed. That is not to say that she got a lot of good grades, she really did know the work, but in kindergarten she was asked to be in the gifted group. Beth asked the other kids who were in it what it was like. They told her that it was different learning and puzzles and all that they did. She asked if it was after school, they said no that it was during free play time. So Beth decided that it was an extra class and refused to go. So all through school, Beth always threw away some of her work to keep her grades low so that she didn’t get put into the gifted program. Sometimes she threw away too many assignments and ended up in summer school. I told her to quit throwing her assignments away, she said no, and that she knew all of the work and shouldn’t have to go to summer school. She still had to go because her grades were so low. Now that she is out of high school, summer school is over.

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10/31/17 Prom dresses…

Another lost post.
Beth, Maggie and I went out last weekend to get Beth’s graduation dress. She found at least ten dresses to try on. I should have decided before we left the house what was acceptable in a dress for her. One time I did this right. Beth had her final choices on that previous shopping trip. I decided which ones covered her correctly and told her that they made her look older, looking like I wasn’t sure if they would be OK. She chose one of them and left behind the unacceptable ones that didn’t cover enough of her. She was so happy. This shopping trip didn’t go like that this time. She put on a red dress that made her look very mature and didn’t cover her well enough. I made the mistake of saying that it made her look a lot older. It was instantly the favorite. She took a couple of selfies and was ready to go. Looking at the selfies and couldn’t believe what I had done. How could I let my daughter go to her high school graduation in a dress that didn’t cover her at all or at least not very well? Beth is older but still needs a lot of direction in picking clothes. I took a quick look at the prom pictures …this was all before we had paid for the dress…all of the prom dresses were more modest even though a lot of the girls wore strapless dresses. I decided to change my mind and asked Beth to try it on again telling her of my thoughts of it not being an appropriate dress, and saying that I had made a mistake. She was so sad. She tried it on and it was not a good choice. We put it back on the rack and left. Beth was upset, I felt so bad that I had changed my mind, I want my word to them to mean something, something that they can count on, but sometimes more time is needed.
Beth was very upset in the car on the way to the next store. She didn’t understand. She said that clothes didn’t matter. I had just heard a good saying about clothes, but can’t remember where I heard it or I would give them credit. It said that when a girl wears revealing clothes it is like rolling around in manure. It will get you noticed, but only by pigs. I told the new saying to Maggie and Beth, Beth laughed after a second and said with some surprise that that was actually quite funny. She felt better. A saying that I used a lot when they were little and wanted clothes that were cut too low, was .. “if you show everything you have to everyone in the world, how can you be special for your husband”. That kept them covered for years. In the next store we found at least fifteen dresses to try on. Beth found two that she liked and I liked too and there had been a Cat in the Hat pajamas mixed in with the dresses and she liked it too. She said that she wanted all three and would pay me back for the other two. I said yes to the three appropriate and covering items that made both of us happy. What a relief. I’m so glad that the second store had a lot of good choices. What a relief. That was the last shopping trip for a high school event for my kids. I’m so glad that we are moving into the next phase. We have had a lot of good times, but it will be good to move on.

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10/24/17 prom…

Here is another post that should have been posted from when Beth was in high school. There are a few posts that have been missed. Please forgive me while I catch up, some of them are so much fun, I just don’t want to skip them,
Beth called her grandmother and asked if she could have a ride to and from work each day until her car was done. She was done with in school classes and now needed to do her internship to be able to graduate from high school. She also needed a ride for her friend that she normally drove to work. Then she needed to set up prom. Yes…the car broke down the day of prom…big bummer. The girls were all going to get ready at one girls house, go with the parents to the park for pictures, go out to eat and then go to the prom. So far they have gotten ready, had pictures taken and are at the restaurant. When we got to the park there was a line of cars going in. There was at least one wedding going on. I saw at least six brides maids with green off one shoulder dresses and later saw at least six more girls in pink dresses. Either they were in the same wedding or they were all friends, as I was circling the parking lot looking for a parking spot all of the girls, all twelve, were posing for a picture. It really was beautiful. The park had a huge tent up with tables and chairs for the wedding. There were also lots of groups of prom kids and their parents taking prom pictures. The park was packed. The kids from our group decided to take pictures at a different park. The second park was just as beautiful, but had less commotion.

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10/19/17 washing machines and ferrets…

 William bought us a new washer. Woo hoo. Our old one died and I got a replacement one at the resale shop. I had forgotten that we had gotten the broken one from my mom when we moved out. She had told me that it was a large capacity one and if we eventually replaced it with one that wasn’t a large capacity machine we would need to make an adjustment to a smaller load size. The one that we got was a normal washer. What an adjustment. William wasn’t happy and asked if we could get a larger one if he paid for it. I said yes. The machine came today. We were so excited. They couldn’t hook it up because they couldn’t get the old hoses off of the faucet. The delivery guys were really nice. They showed us which hoses go where and also connected the drainage hose. After they left William and I tried to get the hoses off. When we were done the hoses were still attached. We decided to use the old hoses so we attached them to the washer. We must have loosened something because the faucet now leaked. Bummer. Now we have a great machine that we can’t use. I got the name of a plumber from my friend and was about to call him when Beth called. Her car wouldn’t start. She had gotten her first check from work and had gone and bought a ferret. She had taken the pet to a friends house and now the car wouldn’t turn over.
I was going to call the tow truck but decided that she was older. I texted her the numbers.
Beth got her car to the garage and after picking her up we went to get the ferret. She is all white and a few months old. Beth decided that Maggie can babysit the ferret since she is home looking for a job.

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10/11/17 looking back…

I wrote this during the school year and it didn’t get posted.
Beth’s last day of school is tomorrow. She has a month at an internship and then she graduates. We made it!!! Wooooo hooooo!!! We made it! It is such a relief. This is the time that I have been praying for for a long time. The road was bumpy from the very beginning. I never thought that we would get William out of kindergarten. We didn’t realize that he had attention deficit and needed a lot of extra help. It was a really long year of conferences with the teacher and principal before we got him settled into school. He has now been out of high school for at least five years and has had some college. He is working in a factory and wants to go back to school to be able to get a different job.
Maggie refused to do anything when she was little. She refused to talk, scoot, crawl, play with her toys… I could go on and on. She would just sit wherever I put her. She was very happy not doing anything. When she finished a bottle she would hold it up and grunt…I would fill it because I knew that that is what she wanted. Sometimes she would slip up and say a word. Then she would look very embarrassed and look around like she was saying…you didn’t hear me say that.
When Beth was born about a year after Maggie, Maggie tried to get Beth to grunt and not talk. Beth said no I will talk. So Maggie said all right I can talk too. Beth wanted to run as soon as she was born. She came to me at the age of four. I had just told William that if he took care of more responsibilities he could have more privileges. William wasn’t interested. Beth was. She wanted to know what responsibilities she needed to take to be allowed to work at the mall…she was four…she was so determined. Her fists clenched, she could see herself working there. Maggie was standing behind her, I am guessing for moral support because Maggie didn’t want a job, Maggie didn’t even want to talk. I explained to Beth that she couldn’t get a job, she was too young. I didn’t want to say that it was because she couldn’t read, I was worried that she might want to learn to read that week, then I wouldn’t have an excuse. Maybe she could go and play with her dollies for a while. She said OK. Maggie looked relieved.
Now we are in a totally new area, no more high school classes, dress code, Valentines day parties, chaperoning dances, driving the kids and all of their friends around. They were good years. One of the best things that we did was to stay in church. I always told them that as long as they lived at home they needed to go to church on Sunday. Keeping us there has strengthened us in our spirit. It has given us good Christian friends. We also had dinner at the dining room table every night…well almost every night…with no TV on or electronic devices. We did spend a lot of the meals disagreeing with each other, but that face time together helped us to grow as a family.
I read with the kids about four nights a week as they were growing up. Two of the kids were behind in their reading level so the teachers all said to read together. I read with all three of them. They all did catch up. When they were young I read to them. When they got older we both read. I read with each one separately for about twenty minutes, four nights a week. First I read from the Bible. When they were little we used the Toddler Bible. It has one big picture and few words on each page. And a question, like Who was in the garden of Eden. A lot of the questions I knew the answer , but some I didn’t. There was no answer page. When they got older we used the Bedtime Bible. It had a small picture on each page and then a paragraph. And a question or two. We went to the high school Bible when they got to high school. Then, after reading from the Bible each night, we read a book together. I had a separate book for each of the kids. Then they couldn’t tell each other what was going to happen next if one got ahead of the other. And they couldn’t tease the one that was behind. One of us would read a page, then I asked a question about what was read, then the other one would read the next page, and I would ask questions. The teachers said to do this to help the kids to start to be able to understand what was on each page.
We volunteered at church some. I took a lot of pictures of the kids. One thing that I wish that I had done was to tape record them. There is still time. When they all move out I will probably listen to the tape of their voices a lot. The best thing that I told the kids as they were growing up was that I would love them forever, no matter what they did or who they became. My love was not dependent on their actions. They have all of my love forever. I may be really upset at times about things that they are doing and talk to them endlessly about why I feel that they are wrong, but they will still always have my love. It made them feel very secure. I got this from a Sunday school class.
We did have a lot of crazy times, busy times, times when we didn’t get along and everything fell apart and good times.
I like to only write about the good times. This blog is my place where only good happens. It is safe and quiet, I know that you loose a lot of flavor because the disagreements, fights, train wrecks etc. don’t ever get talked about. But for me it is nice to have one place where everything is running smoothly. So, yes, even though I didn’t write about the times when we didn’t get along or when everything fell apart, they were there too.  It definitely wasn’t all good, but we made it through and we all had a great time getting here.

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